POOR JOKES ( PJ'S )

Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach.
He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal.....", it does not move.
Finally he wrote the conclusion:
"After all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf."


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Where do you find MANGOES? Mango tree? Fruit shop? 

**** NO ****

Where ever WOMAN goes, Peeche-Peeche MAN-goes!


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One Sardar goes for an interview in a Detective Agency.
Interviewer: Who killed Gandhi?
Sardar: Thanks for my first assignment sir, I will start investigating!!


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Tamilian calls up a sardar and says,"Tamil therima??" [meaning: Do you know Tamil?]
Sardar gets angry and replies,"Hindi - tera baap!!!"


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Apne Sasur Ka Dulaara Hoon Main,
Apni Biwi Ko Bhi Pyara Hoon Main.
Filhaal Toh Yeh Sab Sapne Hi Hain,
Kyunki Abhi Tak Kunwara Hoon Mai


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Biwi- Biwi ko begum kyon kehte hai?
Pati- Kyonki shadi ke baad sare gum to pati ke hisse mein aate hai, 
aur biwi Be-Gum ho jati hai.

Kapil Sharma Jokes

KAPIL everest par gaya waha 1 baba pahle se baitha tambaku ragad raha tha..
KAPIL-baba ye kya hai
Baba-masala
KAPIL- Oh O to Evrest Masala aap hi banate ho.

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Pinku Joke of the Day 

Pinku: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi.

Girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?

Pinku: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha 

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Golden Words 

Kal ka kaam Aaj Mat Karo usko kal tak hi rakho..

Kya pata us kaam ko karne ki zarurat hi na pade".. 

by Mr. Kapil Sharma

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KAPIL gadhe k samne gir gaya. 
1 khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha,"Apne bade bhai k pair chhu rahe ho?" 

KAPIL BOLA ,"JI BHABHI JI".  

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Ek Angrez Ne Indian Se Pucha. “Bharat Mein Sabse Jyada Barf Kahan Padti Hai?”
Jawab Kuch Aisa Tha.“Before 8 PM Kashmir, After 8PM Wiskey Ke Glass Mein”.

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Ek Bhikari- Oh sundari Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de.
Pati ne biwi se- De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai.


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Teacher: Explain About Terrorist..?
:
:
:
:
:
:
Pappu : Terrorist Is A Tourist Who Comes From Other Country To Celebrate Diwali In Our Country..!!!

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Teacher- Khoj wo he jo Prakriti me pehle se hoti he or Aviskar wo he jo prakriti me pehle se nhi hoti Use banaya jata he.
Teacher to std- ek example batao.
Std -Teacher Pehle mere Papa ne Meri maa ki khoj ki Fir Dono Ne Milkar mera Aviskar kiya.

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12 Saal K Ladke Ne 20 Saal Ki Ladki Ko Phool Dia
Ladki Ne Kiss Dia
Wo Ghabra K Bhaga
Ladki Ne Pucha:
Kya Hua
Ladka:
Guldasta Le K Aa Raha Hu

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Girl- friend: Agar tumne mujhe kiss karne kis koshish ki to main shor macha doongi. 
Boy- friend: Lekin yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahin hai. 
Girl- friend: I know but formality to karni hi padegi.

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Biwi bathroom se naha ke nikli to Sanju use ghur raha tha.
Biwi romantic hokar: Kuch karne ka irada hai kya?
Pati ne ek thappad maar ke bola: Mere garm pani se kyu nahayi.

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Kapil to girl- 'Stop' I can PK
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Girl- what PK?
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Kapil- prapose karuga
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Girl- FSSSM
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Kapil- what FSSSM?
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Girl: fut saale sendal se maarugi Girls rocks
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Kapil- MBKF
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Girl- what MBKF?
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Kapil- mukka bhi khayegi fir:-D:p
Kapil double rocks

santa-banta jokes

Santa 2 cigarettes ek saath peeta thaa.

Banto (Santa’s Wife): Ek sath 2 cigarette kyon peete ho?

Santa: Dost kee yaad aati hai na … ek meri hoti hai aur ek mere dost kee…

Kuchh dino baad Santa ek hi cigarette peene laga…

Banto ne poochha – Dost ko bhool gaye kya?

Santa : Nahin Pagli, maine cigarette peena chhod diya hai!! 


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Bhikari-  sahab 20 rs do na, coffee peeni hai..

Santa- lekin coffee to 10 rs ki aati hai?

Bhikari- Meri girlfrnd bhi sath mai hai na.

Santa- Arey, Bhikari hokar tune girlfriend bana rakhi hai..

Bhikari- Nahi, gf ne hi mujhe bhikari banaya hai..  

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Santa: Yaar Ghajini movie mein Aamir ne itni solid body kaise banaye hogi?

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Banta – Arey jab wo gym se wapas aata tha to 15 minutes ke baad bhool jata tha aur phir wapas gym chala jata tha.. 

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Daya: Sir, Alok Nath apni chappal utar rha hai :P
ACP: Iska matlab samje Daya?
Daya: Nhi Sir :D
ACP: Iska matlab wo Temple Run khelne wala hai :P

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Santa Bus Me Ja Raha Tha, Samne Baithi Ek Aurat Apni Beti Ko, Bar Bar Bol Rahi Thi, "Jaldi Se Ye Halwa Khalo, Warna Mai wo Uncle Ko Dedun" Kuch der baad Santa Ghusse Se Bola: Behenji Aap Jaldi Faisla Karo, Halwe Ke Chakkar Me 4 Stop Age Aa Gaya Hoon. :D

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On Facebook.. Richa: *Uploads a pic of her with bf* Love of my life! Manisha: Wow, gr8 couple ya, made for each other, I'm so happy ya muhhaha ! :'* :'* Chat- Manisha: Richa ka boyfriend kaisa bandar hai! Meenakshi: Ye bhi to bandriya hai !

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Why does not Santa wake up early.. i.e.
when the day dawns.. or sun rises.. but
instead get up when the sun is already shining bright...
Because he has realised the fact that..
"dawn ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin.. na mumkin hain.."


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After hike in petrol price, Santa was not worried at all.

When Banta asked him the reason, he said: "How does it matter? Earlier I was filling petrol for Rs.100 in my car, now also I'll fill petrol for Rs.100 only !!"


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Santa runs home yelling : "Pack your bags Honey, I just won the 10 Million Lotto!"
WIFE: Oh dear! Do i pack for Beaches or Mountains???

Santa: "WHO CARES??? JUST PACK AND GET LOST..."