santa-banta jokes

Santa 2 cigarettes ek saath peeta thaa.

Banto (Santa’s Wife): Ek sath 2 cigarette kyon peete ho?

Santa: Dost kee yaad aati hai na … ek meri hoti hai aur ek mere dost kee…

Kuchh dino baad Santa ek hi cigarette peene laga…

Banto ne poochha – Dost ko bhool gaye kya?

Santa : Nahin Pagli, maine cigarette peena chhod diya hai!! 


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Bhikari-  sahab 20 rs do na, coffee peeni hai..

Santa- lekin coffee to 10 rs ki aati hai?

Bhikari- Meri girlfrnd bhi sath mai hai na.

Santa- Arey, Bhikari hokar tune girlfriend bana rakhi hai..

Bhikari- Nahi, gf ne hi mujhe bhikari banaya hai..  

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Santa: Yaar Ghajini movie mein Aamir ne itni solid body kaise banaye hogi?

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Banta – Arey jab wo gym se wapas aata tha to 15 minutes ke baad bhool jata tha aur phir wapas gym chala jata tha.. 

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Daya: Sir, Alok Nath apni chappal utar rha hai :P
ACP: Iska matlab samje Daya?
Daya: Nhi Sir :D
ACP: Iska matlab wo Temple Run khelne wala hai :P

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Santa Bus Me Ja Raha Tha, Samne Baithi Ek Aurat Apni Beti Ko, Bar Bar Bol Rahi Thi, "Jaldi Se Ye Halwa Khalo, Warna Mai wo Uncle Ko Dedun" Kuch der baad Santa Ghusse Se Bola: Behenji Aap Jaldi Faisla Karo, Halwe Ke Chakkar Me 4 Stop Age Aa Gaya Hoon. :D

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On Facebook.. Richa: *Uploads a pic of her with bf* Love of my life! Manisha: Wow, gr8 couple ya, made for each other, I'm so happy ya muhhaha ! :'* :'* Chat- Manisha: Richa ka boyfriend kaisa bandar hai! Meenakshi: Ye bhi to bandriya hai !

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Why does not Santa wake up early.. i.e.
when the day dawns.. or sun rises.. but
instead get up when the sun is already shining bright...
Because he has realised the fact that..
"dawn ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin.. na mumkin hain.."


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After hike in petrol price, Santa was not worried at all.

When Banta asked him the reason, he said: "How does it matter? Earlier I was filling petrol for Rs.100 in my car, now also I'll fill petrol for Rs.100 only !!"


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Santa runs home yelling : "Pack your bags Honey, I just won the 10 Million Lotto!"
WIFE: Oh dear! Do i pack for Beaches or Mountains???

Santa: "WHO CARES??? JUST PACK AND GET LOST..."